I had a fascinating conversation with a dear friend recently and we wandered into the topic of expectation…Not only the subtle unconscious childhood expectations but also the ones we have developed in our attempts to palliate the fears that lie beneath.

 An example might be within a relationship. If there is a fear of abandonment, she meets a man and finds him perfect and then changes herself to be whom she thinks he wants her to be to ensure he does not leave her…He, on the other hand, sees her and thinks she is perfect and is saddened as she changes over the years becoming someone else in the process. Someone he was not attracted to. The result remains potential abandonment despite all the efforts to avoid that very thing.

There is a saying “An expectation is a disappointment waiting to happen. It can be worth exploring the relationships that may have a frisson to them and looking for any expectations you may have of the other – what expectations exist and why do you have them?

Expectations are facets of judgment as they are the expression of what we want or need, hence they come from the ego. Expectations reflect the limitations of the love the person can give and receive. Unconditional love is allowing, gracious and receives in gratitude. Expectations limit our ability to receive the love of another no matter how freely it is given.

Many years ago, I knew a woman in her mid-twenties whose boyfriend proposed to her. She said yes but then refused sex for 4 months because “he didn’t propose in the right way”, the way she expected. They married and divorced within three years.

Like all the insights we glean as we head inwards, there is always a flip side. 

Take a relationship, explore your expectations of it in all aspects, visualise how it might be if you allowed it to be just what it is…What freedom lies within.

Releasing expectations leads to peace, calm, stillness, acceptance… (include your own qualities here).

Losing peace, calm, stillness, acceptance… (include your own qualities here) 

indicates an expectation somewhere…. a point of self-awareness helping you access the inner world and explore the expectation and all it teaches you.

Good luck…

Working through both The Way and The Ordination Course has been quite an adventure…

When I joined, I had no idea how deep it would take me. If you want to go on a real journey of self-exploration and learn about your own spiritual, personal and moral alignment, then I highly recommend this course. It has helped me to determine a clarity of focus, pushed me to the dusty corners of my soul and afforded me many amazing friendships. Life changing, certainly. And in the best way.”

Best wishes


I have just completed the Way and the Ordination course…

I have just completed the Way and the Ordination course, and I am currently preparing for my Ordination in September 2023.   I feel so blessed to have found the Open Sanctuary, it has changed my life. Prior to embarking on the course, I had faith but during my journey with Open Sanctuary my faith grew deeper and the change in my outlook in life, my purpose, and my belief in my higher power has been profound.  

There were times during my studies that I doubted myself and questioned whether I was enough however through a great deal of soul searching, prayer and the continual support of Angela Maughan who guided me and my Anam Cara, Cate Reid’s word of wisdom, together with the support of my fellow Open Sanctuary Ordinands and members I found the answers I was looking for. I am now looking forward to finding appropriate ways to love and serve others wherever that may take me, with GODS light in my eyes.

As a minister with Open Sanctuary, I will serve those who want to be spiritual without belonging to an organised religion and learn about other people’s beliefs in the process. “God is like a mirror. The mirror never changes, but everyone who looks at it sees a different face.” —Jewish teaching.

There is an inextricable link between religion and spirituality. I have learnt that the connection runs too deep to completely sever from the other, I am dedicated to deepening my own spiritual development and practice, and my connection to the Divine, so that my service to others is always grounded in the integrity of my own spiritual life. 

If you feel drawn to serve or are simply seeking to explore your own spirituality, I have no hesitation in recommending you consider joining the Open Sanctuary and exploring the course options available to you. It will be a blessing to walk with you on your journey.

Much love and blessings,


Silence is pure, silence is holly…

Recently I have been using the library for studying, it is a residual memory from student days when the library took on temple-like importance. The environment, the quiet, the books (pre computer days), the sight of others equally engaged in focussed learning. 

Seeing them prepare their work `stations`, pens, ink, paper, water, snacks, and piles of books to encircle and comfort in the pursuit of learning. Using the library on and off over the years has evoked the same feelings to a degree. Only in the last few weeks a young man working on his thesis has joined the library. We barely speak but there is a shared connection, an unspoken sharing of intention; to study, a communion of silence.

As Nicholas Sparks wrote “Silence is pure. Silence is holy. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking.” Now it feels like a library.

Rev. Jude

I am never upset for the reason, I think.

A Course in Miracles has a lesson a day for a year, supporting the transition from ego and fear-based thinking to thinking thoughts of and from love.

 I was with a friend recently and going on about a pet peeve and found myself getting quite `energised` about it. I then recalled the lesson for the day. “I am not upset for the reason I think I am”. It was like a needle puncturing a balloon deflating the energy as I realised my upset came from another source, yet I had chosen to vent it through my `peeve`!

It reminded me to keep in closer touch with my inner witness. To regularly tune into where I am to more swiftly spot when I am out of alignment, or, of course, be more aware of when my thoughts are `out` of love.

Self-awareness and staying aware of it keeps the inner witness busy!

Loving thinking rocks!!

Can you read a room?

Recently I was chatting with a friend, and I made a comment about how good she was at reading a room, picking up the sub texts and unconscious nuances etc.

She began to share her observations and how it all affected her. 

After we parted, the conversation stayed with me, can I read a room? 

Do I get the unconscious communication that is going on and, if so, where do I feel it?

It was a fascinating few days for the inner witness pondering over every encounter…I now have an inner witness with deep fatigue!

As with everything I took it to meditation, asked for greater clarity and settled into silence. What emerged slightly side swiped me, and I ended the meditation laughing.

I had been shown a thermostat. What!!!!!

It finally dawned on me, a thermometer can read the energy of the room, a thermostat can change it.

Are you a thermometer or are you a thermostat?

29th June 2023

Prioritising the Divine

Recently I was blessed when two of my offspring, with partners and baby, came home for a visit. They both live in the antipodes, so it has been a while. They are both blessed with my `lark` genes and would join me on the deck very early, a time in which I would usually meditate, so my meditation practice and daily spiritual routine became more erratic as time passed.

The joy of their presence and all the unusual activities that went with their brief return home confused `normal` life for me. After five weeks of this discombobulation the last offspring returned home leaving a `tender-mummy-heart` but also a deep sense of relief as I could now reconnect with my spiritual practice and all its framework.

The deep sense of joy at my first sitting in meditation was palpable in a heartfelt sigh. I felt the day flow more smoothly, the readings and writings, the awareness in, and of, nature blossomed (sorry!). 

With it came the realisation of how far `off piste` I can go when out of spiritual flow. This family time invoked the reminder that our families are our greatest classrooms as they perpetually have their fingers on our buttons and sometimes, we can feel we are being picked like a banjo!

There have been so many epiphanies from this time which I will explore here in time but for today it is to honour the (on-going) surrender of ego and the peace that release brings to the heart, soul, and mind. To be able to hand my life over to the Divine of my Awareness is the greatest gift…. 

The subtly in the change of perception of situations arising, the expansion of connection from purely familial to community and universal, the reminder that to Honour my Divine is, for me, the starting point in life each day from which all flows. This is, once again, my imperative and now I need to find strong anchors to maintaining that daily rhythm and connection, stronger than they were as I see more clearly how easily distraction can lure me away from peace. 

With love, Jude


Stress is a word in common parlance, it abounds as a `source` of ill health, a reason to self soothe by distractions such as shopping to gambling, food and drink etc. Which, left unaddressed, might evolve into addictions inevitably multiplying the original stress exponentially leading to a state of `dis-stress`.

The word stress used to refer to the effects of external pressures on metal. The way temperature, or distortion affect the integrity of the metal altering its tensile strength and use.

For us humans stress may be a result of too many external factors constraining our lives in many ways, from work to family, social life as well as the demands of social media.

As the Buddhist Shantideva said “If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will do you no good.”

It says the same in the Serenity Prayer and in quotes from other traditions. If you can fix it, great. If not, release and stand well back!

Stress is a word in common parlance, it abounds as a `source` of ill health, a reason to self soothe by distractions such as s

 Joanna Macy wrote…

“You are held within the web of life, within flows of energy and intelligence far exceeding your own.” 

This is another way of describing intuition, that `hit` we get when something thought or idea lands in our minds that we do not know where it originated. 

It was visible in the early days of Who wants to be a Millionaire when the contestants would say aloud, they didn’t know but the first answer that came was…. they would go with it and be right. Until playing for a sum of money that they then wanted and feared losing. It was at this point that trust in the intuitive `hit` was lost and the person tried to work it out in their mind….. distrusting the universal energy matrix that Jung spoke of in his `collective unconscious` – that at some point all minds are joined. 

Why limit yourself when all Knowledge is there just wating for you.

With love, Rev. Jude

Change starts Within

Change is a response to something each of us has deemed `not what we want, or like`, yet in truth, whilst the current situation may not be what we want, often we do not know what we want, or it induces a deep-seated fear in us. This fear is of not being worthy, perfect or whatever is `your thing`. It becomes easier to project it onto others as in “if only they did so and so, then all would be right in my world”. 

We all know this, have all experienced this and are now invited to own it.  Step inwards on the slide of self-awareness and identify the blockages therein. You do not need to tell anyone, but always be honest with yourself

To mis-quote a well-known saying “Physician know thyself” Once we are able to be honest with ourselves about ourselves, the journey begins…dah, dah, dah DAHHHHH (piano crescendo). Only then can healing begin and life transform. The question is what is the underlying fear that stops you making the changes that would more closely align you with your core belief? 

Gandhi sums it up well in his saying “Be the change you want to see” – he identifies that all the things we would change about another, a situation etc can only be changed in us…and, odd as it may sound, it works!

Identify someone with whom you have a grievance, spend five minutes as day for a month praying for them and by the end of the month either `they` will have changed or you won’t care anymore…

I do love a `How To ` plan…